Your Choices are Take It or Leave It

Is there a magical age at which kids learn how to eat around the stuff they don't like? Like, without whining, crying, shoving the plate away, or various other theatrics?

Or is there some secret technique to making it through dinner without tears, eye-rolling, threats, begging, bribing, or timers? (Actually we only really use two of those as a general rule - timers and eye-rolling - I think I saw my brain the other day.)

I understand not liking certain foods. Nobody can ever convince me that I like cilantro. Or onions. I've tried, oh Lord, I've tried. But they are just not for me (but somehow I love all other Mexican food. Weird, huh?) I'm totally ok with my kids not liking certain things, and I do a pretty good job of remembering what they are and ensuring I offer choices that don't include them too, or making it really easy to pick them out. That is, for me or Hubby to pick them out of course, because somehow these offending particles just send our boys into a severe tailspin from which there's no return.

Sometimes I dream about what it might be like to be in a different family. Where the food preferences look something like this:

Doesn't that seem reasonable? Everyone has their own little realm of preferences. There's usually two or more people that like a decent amount of items. But everyone has a nice big repertoire and there are plenty of options to serve that make everyone happy.

This is what it looks like in our family:

Dad is not the problem. I am not the problem. We are pretty much garbage guts, and we agree on the breadth and depth of our range. There's very little the boys like that we don't either. But note the relative size of the circles? That's not an accident. I am a graphy, market research sort of gal. See how their bubbles do not overlap with each other's? The fact that I can pretty much guarantee that someone or another will say "I don't like that!" is indisputable. 

At least now we have it in Venn diagram format. My little anal geek world is now complete. Even if I still don't know what the hell to make for dinner tomorrow.

Aw, nuts!

With the start of the new school year comes the obligatory grumbling of the parenting community about what foods they are not allowed to send in school lunches.

I'm not sure why there is such hatred for blanket bans of particularly dangerous allergens, but there really is, and it seems to me it's getting worse. Parents rant about it, they suggest ways to sneak in the contraband, gripe about the need for bubble wrapped kids, and wonder out loud what else they can send.

As mother of a child with a peanut allergy - I'm sorry. I really am. I understand that it makes things difficult.

Please know, however, that living in fear of accidental exposure in your allergic child is more difficult. So is taking them trick or treating and knowing they will have to surrender at least half of their haul. So is seeing them disappointed because they can't eat the yummy treat that all the other kids are enjoying because it doesn't have that little logo on it and you can't be sure it's safe. So is repeatedly catching people (even those who know about the allergy) offering things that are clearly unsafe to your child. But the most difficult thing...is watching your child's face swell up and dashing for the Benedryl or Epi-pen and praying it will work in time.

Even before we had children, I respected allergies. I always gave out Halloween candy without peanuts. If made aware of an allergy, I don't serve that food. My home is very low-chemical and nearly scent-free (but it does and probably will always contain non-hypoallergenic dogs!). I ask when we have people over if anyone has any allergies. I hoped this would buy me enough good Karma that my kids wouldn't have serious allergies - alas, not the case. We are lucky and grateful that B2's peanut allergy is mild, but it's still there. Still a worry, still a nuisance. And it doesn't look like he'll outgrow it by age 3 as the doctor hoped he might.

Yes, it sucks, but I can deal with it. We found alternate products. We taught him from the moment he could understand that he is "yergic" to peanuts. He will wear a bracelet when he starts school and will be trained not to eat anything he's not sure about. I'm not sure why other parents find it so difficult, when it isn't even their kids that are at risk. There are so many options - spend five minutes on Pinterest and you'll have more lunchbox ideas than you could ever use.

For those who help keep my boy safe - thank you.

For those who roll their eyes and grumble - count your blessings and don't be so sure you'll never need to rely on a village.

Best Before Date?

I have often questioned whether my kids are spoiled. Like when I walk into the playroom and can't see any of the floor because it's too covered in toys. Or when I struggle to close the drawers of their dressers after putting away a new batch of clothes. Or when they demand dessert, or treats, pretty much every day.

We are certainly not made of money. But I do spend a considerable amount of my disposable income on the kids. And we pretty much always have a full fridge and pantry and we probably allow treats a little more often than we should. I am totally guilty of caving in under the pressure of a tantrum, just to make.it.stop. 

But you know those days where you feel like nobody heard anything you said? Like you're just talking to hear your own voice? Like the kids seem to think the rules that have been in place since forever are somehow new or not applicable? We've been having a lot of those days lately. Like, all of them. And now that B2's language skills have really exploded, we're finding that he argues just as much as B1 - maybe even more.

I'm not sure if this is completely normal, but after reading this article, I think I feel a little better. I am pretty solid at not catering to my picky kids at mealtimes. I'm pretty good at dealing with tantrums for the most part, and they are still age appropriate for my kids. My boys are both clingy and have some separation anxiety, but they DO let us leave them without too much drama. 

For sure I have more work to do - I need to get better at staying calm, being consistent, and showing that I really do mean it when I set a boundary. But overall, I think my boys are still within their Best Before dates. The real issue is just that they are 2.5 and 4!

Purging

Not the kind where you binge first on junk food, then stick your fingers down your throat. I wouldn't do that by choice (but I have been known to do a good binge).

We have been on a massive "stuff" purge bender lately. It started with me getting annoyed at the hoard of outgrown clothes in B2's closet. Dragged it all down, sorted, and started selling it on a facebook buy/sell/swap group. Then I started thinking of other things I could sell. Outgrown shoes, snowsuits, toys that we don't use. Cloth diapers that weren't my favorites now that we use so much fewer. Bigger toys that don't get much play.  Then my hubby got into the game. The old TV we used to use in the bedroom. The gaming system we haven't touched in over a year. Booster seats. The piano. A desk that only collects dust. The yard play equipment that's still do-able but a little small. Now we can't stop ourselves! Almost everything I look at, I'm thinking "Do we really still need this?" 

The problem is in my zeal to de-clutter, it's possible I might accidentally sell something that we could still use. The yard equipment was a tough one. They are still use-able by my boys. But B1 and B2 are bigger and don't use these particular toys much anymore. We are keeping the big slide and swingset, just getting rid of the toddler ones and the little playhouse and I think I'm ok with it. I'd rather have the money. It's a tough call though for sure. I might even cry when they go.

I also struggle with the value. I know roughly what we paid for almost everything I've been getting rid of. I know we used it and got value out of it...and believe me I'm pricing accordingly, but it hurts a little to see your things (and your kids' things) sell for a fraction of what they cost. A tiny fraction, in most cases.

Another problem is while spending time on these groups, listing and managing my items, I keep on accidentally finding new stuff that I want to buy. For like, amazing deals! People are practically GIVING their stuff away! 

Hmmm. Maybe I DO have a bingeing and purging disorder after all.

Bye Bye, Baby Weight!

I have finally, FINALLY shed my baby weight. I'm at the exact weight I was at a few days before my wedding. And yet, somehow I look NOTHING like I did back then!!


I do not recommend back-to-back-(to-back) pregnancies. I do not recommend an oops pregnancy when your eldest is only 9 months old and your body is still pretty destroyed. I definitely don't recommend these behaviours when you're in your mid-30s. Even dropping pounds can't completely reverse the effects of all that stretching, and gravity on that stretched, heavy with babies body.


So although I have lost the baby weight, I'm still not happy. I'm about four pounds away from my initial goal weight, but I don't think that four pounds is going to make the difference I'd hoped for. I have more work to do. I've significantly improved my eating habits and clearly that's working, but I need to add more fitness into my life. It's incredibly difficult to find the time for fitness in my schedule and this is something I need to work harder at.


It was my hubby's idea actually. I noticed he was eating differently and skipping certain parts of meals I made for about a week, and finally got out of him that he'd signed up for the Weight Watchers online program. I may have teased him a little, but when he explained how easy it is to follow, I decided to sign up too. It was very difficult at first - I am a short person, and the allowance of food I was given didn't feel like much at first. I was pretty hungry for the first few days, until I learned how to make better choices that still allowed me to eat. So I have him to thank for motivating me to get out of my excessive and unhealthy food rut.