Today was my first day at work in almost two years. I mean real, full time work, not odd or part time "fun" jobs.
It was really good. I had a nice time trying to remember people's names and getting a feel for what we do and how we do it.
It didn't go off completely without a hitch. I thought I'd be able to take public transportation and still make it back to pick up the boys, but after seeing the way our company works and how slowly the bus runs, that is not going to happen. So we need to figure out a new plan. I will stay home a bit later in the mornings and drop the boys off and will get to stay at the office a bit later in the evenings. And I really, really need to find a parking spot ASAP. I hate the bus and although I'd like to stay greener, I am just not willing to triple the length of my commute. I can't.
Of course this means "someone else" is now responsible for dinner most nights! And that someone almost never cooks. So it looks like we will start spending some time on the weekends prepping quick meals for the upcoming week. That's ok. Probably wise actually.
I know it will all work out in the end. And I know we only need to lower our standards for a while for stuff like how clean the house is and how nice our meals are. It will sort out in the long run.
I think I'm doing the right thing. I had more patience with the boys tonight than I've had in ages. We can eliminate some bad habits and behaviours from our life. I am going to feel more like me and more like a valuable contributor to our family and our finances. I am going to show my boys that mommies can do more than serve meals and wipe bums. There is always huge value in that, and I will do it gladly for them, but I want to show them that isn't all I can do.
It's going to be a long road and an interesting month. I'm so excited, but a small part of me would love to fast forward to the time when we do have things all figured out.
Also, I'm tired as hell and not looking forward to stuffing diapers tonight one.little.bit.